The decision to expand your family is exciting and terrifying. The excitement of having a new little nugget paired with the fear of the unknown is indescribable.
While I don’t know how it feels to start trying to conceive after you’ve already had a kid or two (well, not yet at least…stay tuned!), I definitely remember how it felt when we started flirting with the idea of having our first child. It was such a wild ride of emotions, irrational fears, not to mention ridiculous thoughts.
Here are 5 honest thoughts you’ll have when you start trying to conceive:
1. Am I Ready?!?!?
This is OBVIOUSLY the number one thought that everyone has before starting to try to conceive. Realizing that you’re choosing to become responsible for another living, breathing human being is TERRIFYING. Not to mention that said human being is tiny and helpless, and will continue to be that way for years.
Sometimes I feel like I can barely keep myself alive, and now I’m supposed to keep my toddler alive too?! The funny thing is though, that as horrible as we think we are doing, and as unprepared as we all think that we are, chances are we’re doing an amazing job. We are just super over-analyzing freaks, that need to just chill out and be the kick ass parents that we really will be or already are.
2. It feels really weird trying super hard for something I’ve tried to avoid all my life so far.
I’m not going to lie, I may or may not have had a near nervous breakdown the first few times we “tried.” I swear I felt like I was a teenager again and afraid of my parents. It was a truly bizarre feeling. I’ve literally spent my life trying to prevent this, and now I’m going for the gold.. super weird.. super scary…Full on mind trickery… I can only imagine what my poor husband was thinking while I was acting like a total weirdo.
3. Will everything change?!
Becoming a parent is a total mixed bag. It could be 100% amazing (in a dream world), it could be 100% terrible (much more probable), or it could be some random midpoint where the land of rainbows and lollipops meets with the fiery depths of hell. It’s scary to think about all the changes that will happen, because yes, a lot of things WILL change, but there will still be some things that do stay the same, and the things that do change can be for the better! It’s all about positivity.
4. Ovulation Tracking, Fertile Windows, And All That Jazz
Before trying to conceive I did not realize how much actually goes into it. I’ve taken plenty of health classes, but I do not remember any mention of ovulation tracking, checking cervical mucus, or taking your temperature to track optimal fertile windows.. IT IS SO WILD! So many bells and whistles….Then I discovered the fertility tracking apps and became an obsessive freak over it. Checking, rechecking, checking again. Updating, checking, rechecking, checking again… It is bananas. All good things take time.
5. Yep, We’re Doing This
Once you get past all the indecision and fear, it really sets in that you’re doing this. You’re past the point of no return, you’re in it to win it. Once you process all that fear and nervousness, all that’s left is excitement and joy. I felt like I was on a top secret mission, except for the fact that my mother was telling EVERYONE she talked to that we were “trying.” Thanks, Ma.
No matter what thoughts you have, or how long it takes you, or whatever means you have to go through to conceive, savor these moments. It is a truly amazing time in your life that you’ll always want to look back on.