For a lot of us, summer is our favorite season. We take vacations. We get to eat delicious food like barbecue, watermelon, and ice cream. We spend time at the pool or the beach, and enjoy lazy afternoons that turn into warm, late nights.
But if you’re pregnant, summertime is significantly less enjoyable. Here are some reasons being pregnant in summer is total bullshit:
You know those hot summer days when you’re constantly sweaty, even right after a shower? Now imagine going through that with a bowling ball strapped to your stomach. Sounds uncomfortable, right? Now imagine doing it for three months straight, and you’ll begin to understand how fucking hot and uncomfortable summer is when you’re pregnant.
Boob sweat? Check. Belly sweat? Check. Swamp ass? Double check. Pregnant women in summer will sweat in places they didn’t even know they could sweat. You’re basically a walking glazed ham at all times.
When you’re pregnant, your sense of smell is heightened and that is very rarely a good thing. You can smell someone’s body odor from a block away. Everything in the city smells like hot garbage. You’ll walk by hotdogs being grilled when suddenly every cell in your body realizes you should never eat hotdogs ever again. Summer is full of gross smells and when you’re pregnant, you’re tormented by all of them.
Turns out it’s really important to stay hydrated during the summer heat when you’re pregnant. So that means instead of peeing every ten minutes, you now have to pee approximately every 30 seconds. Good times!
You can’t eat soft cheeses, deli meats, or sushi. You have to make sure any meat you ingest is charred beyond recognition. You can’t eat anything that’s been left out in the sun at all out of fear of listeria. Barbecues are significantly less fun when you have to ask how long the potato salad has been out.
Did I mention that it’s hot? Even going from sitting to standing is a workout. And people still expect you to get up and do things, so you’re sweaty and tired AND chafing. Such bullshit.
The heat, discomfort, and lack of sleep that comes with peeing every 30 seconds definitely takes its toll. Being pregnant is tiring enough, but being pregnant in the summer takes it to a whole new level. Bonus points if you have older kids who are awake at 5 and don’t go to bed until 10 because the sun is out.
Summer is a great time for margaritas and daiquiris and sangria, but not for your pregnant ass. You get mocktails or some sparkling water. And you’ll probably get stuck being everyone’s designated driver to boot.
So if you’re pregnant during the summer, rock the bikini and blast that air conditioning. And tell everyone who thinks you shouldn’t to fuck right off.
You’re growing a human, feel free to rest those swollen feet of yours. You’ve earned it.