This week has been rough. Two wealthy people, who seemed to have the world at their feet, pursued their dreams and were living their best lives, decided to take their own lives. Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain took their own lives, 3 days apart, rocking our world. I’m especially stunned about Bourdain. I don’t even have adequate tribute words for either of them. I owned many bags and my main wallet is Kate Spade. I’ve watched countless hours of Anthony Bourdain’s shows. I respected the hell out of both of them. And I bite my fists at how little we all knew about them, truly.
Everyone is stunned. Maybe at the realization that money, that thing we chase so much, can’t save us. Maybe it’s the realization that we have so little control over those we know, cuz I’m sure some of the people who knew these two powerhouses in real life are shell-shocked from how unexpected it was. Maybe we all realize that something feels broken and we don’t know how to fix it. My goodness. We really never know what people are going through. I’m hoping this country can prioritize the treatment of mental illness as much as it does other diseases. We all need to be whole.
What I wanna say to you is that: I’m glad you are here. That you are someone in this world, being loved and loving people around you. I admire you for walking through all the walls that stood in your way so you can be here. The world is better for you being here.
Self-Care is Mind Care
Honestly, the biggest takeaway for me is that what is the point of success if we aren’t happy or whole?
I started going to therapy last year, because I realize that I was excelling at work and nothing else. My toolbox was sparse and I wanted to make sure I was putting as much effort into my well-being as I was putting into my business’ well-being.
Every week or every other week, I spend one hour in therapy.
I go to therapy to stay happy and whole.
I go to talk through random things with an objective 3rd party.
I go to therapy to make sure whatever baggage I have isn’t being carried into every room and every conversation I’m in.
I go to therapy because self-care is mind care.
We all post our sweaty pics after we go to the gym (those pics, which, btw, I wish y’all didn’t post such closeups. I feel like I can smell you through the camera. Abeg back up a little bit. We don’t need to see every droplet of sweat). I digress…
I just want us to talk openly about these things more. I need us to remove the stigma. As a prominent Nigerian, I think it’s important for me to talk about going to therapy because so few of us are open about it. So few of us go to therapy. And our culture does not encourage seeking out this type of self-care.
So yeah… let’s normalize it. It will only be beneficial for us all if we do.
CDC: U.S. Suicide Rates Have Climbed Dramatically | NPR | June 7, 2018
Suicide rates have increased in nearly every state over the past two decades, and half of the states have seen suicide rates go up more than 30 percent.
Suicide is a major public health issue, accounting for nearly 45,000 deaths in 2016 alone. That is why the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta decided to take a comprehensive look at suicides from 1999 to 2016.
The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. Call 1-800-275-8255
Open Path Psychotherapy Collective is a nationwide network of mental health professionals dedicated to providing in-office mental health care—at a steeply reduced rate—to individuals, couples, children, and families in need. Since their founding, Open Path has matched more than 10,000 clients across the country to affordable psychotherapeutic care.
Therapy for Black Girls is an online space dedicated to encouraging the mental wellness of Black women and girls. So often the stigma surrounding mental health issues and therapy prevent Black women from taking the step of seeing a therapist. I developed the space to present mental health topics in a way that feels more accessible and relevant.
Check on your friends, check on your family, and most importantly, check on yourself. I challenge you to chase joy. I’m sending you much love and light. ♥️♥️♥️
This post was originally the newsletter I sent out to my subscribers this morning. I’ve been getting such loving feedback about it that I decided to make this a post. In case you need to hear it again and again: THE WORLD IS BETTER BECAUSE YOU ARE IN IT.