When You’re a Lonely -Not Alone- Person

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I wasn’t sure I wanted to post this one. But I’ve learned, over my years of blogging,
that the ones that are the hardest to write… are usually the most important
ones I need to share because most likely others are feeling the exact same way.
If anything, I hope you read my blog post and know that you aren’t alone in feeling this way…
and find some encouragement in that.

I love being around people. and being social. I like meeting new people.
I love having community and being a part of it.
But right now I am seriously having to consciously make the decision to be social.
Because I’m feeling this urge to just bunker down and make my own little safe space and not leave it.
I think it’s my way of protecting myself and just wanting to give up on the whole friend dating stage I’m in.
I find myself saying, well, they already have their people, I’ll just do my thing here.
I’ll put my energy into my family and work.

I love being a mom and my kids are my people! I’m with them the most.
But they are all under the age of 8. haha. I sometimes feel like the loneliest..not alone person.
And I KNOW I’m not alone in this. I know it. and that’s the tricky part because as lonely as I feel as a mom…….
I know there are plenty of women around me that are craving the same stuff.
A person to just hang out with, that you don’t have to clean your house for, that understand
mom life but you can talk about more than that. You don’t have to stay on the surface but can
actually have conversations that are about more than your kids changing their outfits 5 million times a day.
although we need to have those conversations too. 🙂 Community is important.
And I’ve been blessed with some amazing women in my life that know me…
and we can talk about all the things and be there for each other…
but in my current season, they are not near me.

And so I’m here, feeling a little burnt out and tired but knowing
that I can’t just give up on friendships…… no pity parties!
I know that people have full lives, and sometimes they don’t always have room for new friendships…
but I also know there are people like me, who look like social butterflies, but
are missing out on some solid friendships.
So in Church last night, I was praying about this…and just praying that I would
have peace in this stage I’m in….and also just strength in putting myself out there.
You never know where or when you’ll meet people that you are supposed to have in your life.
I’ve experienced this before….and I know it can happen again.
So I’m just going to change my focus to how I can build community here…..what can I do to connect with people.
Maybe that’s hosting a girls’ night. or going to my MOPs meetings more often or volunteering somewhere.
I want to change my view… from how can relationships can benefit me….to how can I benefit them.
Of course we want to find people that we can do life with, as women and as families,
but maybe the bigger picture needs to be…
How can I do life, living for others? Every relationship, starting with my husband and I, I hope to lead to Him.
So I should look for those relationships with Him in mind.

I hope that if you are feeling a little lonely and wanting friendships in your
own life, that you find a little encouragement. And that you know you aren’t a lone, so don’t live like you are.
Start up that conversation… invite those girls over… and don’t give up.
It’s ok to feel sad about not having “your people”…. but don’t give up on friendship.
It can be an amazing blessing and worth the effort.
This is my personal pep talk that I’m sharing with you.

***An Instagram follower commented this and it’s such a good thing to keep in mind.
I had to share in here. I seriously love the community I’ve found through social media.. you guys. are amazing.**
“…Follow what YOU are passionate about first and you will then find your
tribe of fellow passionate people who feel the same way, rather then just making friends with circumstances.
Be it singing, crafting, netball, whatever; find what makes your heart come alive in your own time without kids
and there will be others waiting there saying “me too!”— @claireclarke77

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